He started having seizures over 2 1/2 years ago. It was one of the scariest things I've ever dealt with. We rushed him to the vet while he was in a constant state of seizing and the vet basically told us there was little hope for him. He was heavily medicated and they suggested that we would need to put him to sleep. Travis brought our pup home, despite their requests to at least keep him in an emergency overnight facility for monitoring. We decided that if he was going to leave us, he was going to do it in his bed and at his home. To everyone's surprise, he made it through the night and we moved forward with options to control his seizures long-term. We did everything we could to make him comfortable and happy while he was still with us. He was never 100% after those seizures, but we were impressed with how well he was doing. He slowly started showing signs of more problems and towards the end, we questioned whether he had another seizure or even if he had a stroke. He started to develop joint pain and had trouble getting up and moving at times. He had testicular masses that grew so huge, so fast. We didn't know if the masses were contributing to his other issues we were noticing, so we decided to have them removed. Basically, a neuter. Our vet told us that it would be too risky for him and that they wouldn't be able to perform the surgery. We got a second opinion and found a vet that agreed to do it. We discussed the possibilities of him dying during surgery, but I can honestly say that it didn't register in my head. Not even a little. I just glazed over the whole scenario. It seemed like the only option to possibly provide him relief and that's all that I thought about. We set up the surgery without any hesitation. Cooper did make it through the surgery, however, he died at the vet a few hours later. We never got to see him. It absolutely kills me to think that after everything we did to keep him comfortable and at home for so long, that he died like that. I mean, had we chose to put him to sleep, we would have at least known we were saying our goodbyes and he would have drifted off peacefully with our arms wrapped around him. Instead, we put him through a scary surgery at a strange vet clinic and then he died alone. With tears filling my eyes now, I know that I will never get over this guilt. He deserved much more than we gave him.
Clearly, this has been a huge loss for the entire family. He was Travis' little buddy and they spent the most time together, especially as my priorities shifted more toward the kids. He's all the kids have known... every single day of their lives. Tyler still gets pretty emotional. I'm happy that their first memories of a pet will be of Cooper. Brooklyn still asks if she can take Cooper his medicine several times a week. I still catch myself wanting to call for him to come back to the garage when we're outside. Those routines are hard to break. :-(
Tyler was very concerned about us taking Cooper to the vet, so we brought him in and everyone loved on him. We took several pictures, nothing great, but we were all together. I'm SO thankful that we did that! Looking at the pictures now, I can see how tired he was. I just wish I would have seen it more then. Perhaps, we would have loved on him longer that night or cancelled the surgery. I don't know.
It has been different and difficult moving forward without our giant pup always in the way and I suspect it will take a long time for our hearts to heal. We'll never forget his sweet face or the love and happiness that he gave to us for almost 11 years. Rest easy, sweet boy.
I told the kids that Cooper was on the other side of the rainbow and to think about him when they saw one. We talked about how he was healthy and happy and having fun over there. We always enjoy grilling outside on the weekends and Cooper was always in the middle of it. I knew we would be sad hanging out for the first time after he was gone. I couldn't believe it when we stepped outside and saw a double rainbow!! We weren't expecting it since it had been sunny all day. By the time I ran and got my camera, it was faded, but it was so neat! My mom sent me a couple of pictures that she happened to take on her way home. Right after, the sky lit up just above our house. It looked like our house was on fire! These pictures don't do it justice. We all agreed that Cooper was saying Hi and letting us know that he was okay. And whatever the case was, we definitely smiled at this thought.
